My dad's birthday

I'm sitting at McNuggets with the 2 younger boys having their fill of future artery blockers. Tio is at the scooter park and I have a large iced coffee to keep me warm. We're out for the afternoon with the top down on the Jeep, eating junk, shopping, scootering and headed for ice cream before the day is out. Just how summer days are supposed to be. 


It's my dad's birthday today. On his birthday we always had a barbecue and strawberry shortcake. He'd be 83 if he'd survived cancer 25 years ago. I don't recall Saturday afternoons hanging out with him. Before I turned ten I remember the family taking weekend trips to Grandma's house a hundred miles from home. He'd buy donuts and take us to the Dairy Dip and wouldn't get angry when things got messy. I remember getting stung by a bee on my eyelid and climbing on the roof and taking long bike rides with my brother to our cousin's house. I guess it was as laid back as Dad ever got. All these years later, I wish I'd gotten to know my father better when I was a kid. His aloofness was hard for me because I was shy too and so we never had much to say when it was just him and me. Not like these boys who never know how to be quiet even when they're told to shut up and have treated me like their favorite toy more often than not.


I suppose, in the final analysis, if I were one of my grandsons looking back from adulthood to my childhood with Grampy, I'd rather have had the loud, friendly and sometimes blustery relationship. But as the adult in the mix, I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a house full of kids that keep themselves busy. 


I guess we better pick up fixins for strawberry shortcake. Happy birthday Dad.

Good Ol' Suppertime

I seem to be batting a thousand with meals this week. Everything I've made all 3 boys have slurped down like it was mac n' cheese straight from the Kraft factory. Tonight I made a cold penne and chicken salad with deviled eggs on the side. I figured I'd get at least one complaint. Nope. Tio said it was the best and only pasta salad he'd ever liked. I made curried rice with spicy sausage. They want me to make it again. Last week it was chicken taquitos and then I invented salsa joes. It's like a magic show. I put it on the table and it all disappears. These are all recipes I make up as I go along, too, so I must be hitting some kind of groove where we all jive.

Maybe now is a good time to whip out the liver and onions and see just how far I can go! Or would that be just asking for trouble...

Political awareness

While I may want the boys to be free to come to their own conclusions about religion and faith, I have no similar hesitation when it comes to politics. I have no problem if all 3 of them grow up with a strong imprint of my views and the need for them to be politically engaged as adults. Tio has discussed political science with me a few times over the issues he's learned at school and while we'll debate all sides, I make it clear why I lean a certain way and create a logical path for him to do the same. 


Just as children need to know that they have to look after their siblings and care about people around them, they need to grow up recognizing that the larger society is no different and they are a part of it. They can't grow up saying 'I hate politics' and then look for student loans, take clean air for granted and turn away from the homeless and needy. At some point in life we all find ourselves in need of help and lean on the blessings of others to get ahead. So we all need to give back in some way.


I believe that teaching the kids about politics is about teaching basic fairness. For example, today the Supreme Court ruled the Affordable Healthcare Act to be constitutional so the law will stand as it is. This means than millions of people will be able to get and keep health coverage in this country that otherwise would go without. Strip away all the he said/she said partisanship, that is the nub of this whole issue: fairness for all. Once that is settled we can quibble over the details. 


Teaching fairness to kids is no easy thing to start with but to get them to understand it on a larger scale than the immediate world they inhabit is daunting. So whenever I hear one of them parroting that tired old phrase "politics is stupid" or boring or pointless, it's time for a talk. 


Politics is messy, often counterintuitive, but it is the mechanism by which we run our government and the earlier they understand how it works and why, the better citizens they will become.

RIp Van Winkled

Sorry, I meant to start writing every day and last night I fell asleep before dark and didn't notice until this morning. Ooops.

I feel like I'm waking up from a 6 month walking deep sleep. The world was churning along without me and all I could do was hang on and watch it go by. Now that I'm starting to come out of this slumber I see the world hasn't changed all that much, but I have. Well, a bit anyway.

When the kids arrived, geez, 2 and a half years ago, I took on the task of making sure they had a good home that is safe, loving, and nurturing. All that has happened but we're not even halfway there. It's been a busy and sometimes tough road but we've stuck to it and everyone is the better for it. As I come out of the cancer daze, I realize that I can't go back to what I'd been doing day in day out.

Thankfully, both Buddy and Tish have really stepped up and taken on a lot of the work. That gives me time and peace of mind to pursue some of my own goals while knowing that we're all chipping away at making sure things get picked up, noses get wiped, tempers quelled, and life goes on. What I have to be careful of is not to automatically go back to doing everything. Some things need doing, others can wait. It's a difficult line for lots of parents to find. But if I'm going to survive the next 6 years with teens in the house, it would behoove me to keep some distance.

In the meantime, two puppies leave tomorrow, I start a new part time job on Monday, Kit has ordered a new MP3 player online, Tio is a scooter fiend, Doc misses school, and Tish and Buddy are working hard. Life is good.

PS> The baby birds have hatched. We have a nest full of fuzz now.

Giving us the bird

It's just about time for our baby robins to hatch. I hope we haven't disturbed the nesting so much that they don't. It's been a real treat watching the parents create this little stick home just outside our window. They really are a team. From some quick reading, it turns out these 2 probably only met on the trip north and decided to make a go of it but after this season, they'll find someone else. They'll make 2 or three nest together this summer before getting a birdy divorce.

When the babies hatch, they'll be here for another 2 weeks. Only now the parents won't chirp their disapproval if we peek in the nest or sit too close. They'll start dive bombing us and making life more miserable than a swarm of mosquitoes. I guess we'll start using the garage door. I'd love to be able get some pictures of the wee ones while they grow up but mom and pop may have other plans.

It turns out they have lots of predators including crows, ravens and cats so maybe they weren't so stupid after all building so close to noisy kids, barking dogs and curious me. 

Moving into summer

I think I have enough brain power to start blogging everyday again. Here are the basics of the past week (to get us movin' on). I felt less tired and more myself. The puppies are ready for their new homes. We still have one left to place but I'm sure she'll find a good home. Mr. And Mrs. Robin are still holding fast with 3 eggs in their next. School ended for the year. Kit made honor role every term (a great acheivement!), Doc did as well as most 1st graders, and Tio screwed the pooch. All his grades dropped and he was in detention all of his final week for acting up constantly in class. (Sigh) Oh well. We move on. The hardtop is off the jeep, I'm starting a diet to lose some weight, and the boys are at day camp 5 days a week -- sounds like summer has started! See you tomorrow.

Puppies last week here

Cookie

The pups are 7 weeks old and going to new homes next week. It's been lots of fun watching them grow up.

Mayday will stay with us.

Roxanne

To a terrific dad and a great son.

I had an idea last night that we put into motion today. It was a good day for me. I bought some wood this morning, Tio and I constructed the frame for an hour around noon and when the younger boys got home we all painted it dark green. When all was done we'd all built a mini porch for him to sit out of the rain and put his feet up of an evening when he goes outside to have a smoke. It has railings on it and a flat roof with a 4'x4' floor. It was fun. Kit suggested we call it The Smokehouse, Tio liked The Man Cave, Doc didn't say and I wasn't sure. I was thinking more on the lines of The Bomb Shelter. We all shouted "Happy Father's Day!" when we took him out to show it off. "Now you have your own smoking lounge." He was very pleased. He can use it for as long as he smokes and if he quits, which he hopes to do, it'll make a great gazebo. 

Wisdom beyond his ears

After school today Kit wondered if I was feeling okay. I ended up in the emergency room last night with a real high fever. He said, "I knew things were bad yesterday because you yelled at me and Doc." "How did you know I was just feeling sick?" "Member how maybe a month ago how you said you were sorry for being more mad lately at us but the chemo made you feel so bad?"[GLA 5/29] He smiled, "So yesterday I knew it was the drugs talking."

"I Sing The Body Electric"

Our new washing machine was installed yesterday. I did 5 loads of blankets and sheets today. This fabulous invention is a washing robot not a mere machine. It weighs the load first to guage how much water to use. Then its as low spray rinse and after that it looks more like a jacuzzi massage for our clothes than anything else. It has more lights on it then my car dashboard. But the clothes seem to like it so I'm okay with that. This is what the future was meant to look like. Robots that invade our homes and do our laundry and wash our dishes and shut up about it.

New tenants in the house

Last Saturday, this robin decided to build a nest right on our deck. She's built it right on the cross beams not 8 feet from this camera inside the kitchen window.

It took her 2 days to build it, a treat to watch, when she was done it was so deep that she sunk right down above her head. Right now it's full of bright blue eggs. (I thought about putting a soft boiled chicken egg in first to see what she'd do....but, no).

She's one determined bird. She stuck it out through our Father's Day party on the porch, dogs going by, puppies all around. And she keeps coming back.

That brings the head count in our house up to 14. (plus eggs)

Father's Day

We celebrated Fathers Day early. Buddy was off work, I will have chemo tomorrow so today I was doing okay, so our daughter put on a barbecue for us dads. She and Danny brought over everthing including the grill and unpacked a tasty party for everyone. There were lawn games and soda pop, great weather and good moods. All 3 brothers played baseball and horeshoes without fighting. Sugar made a cake infused with Jell-O and we all got fatter for the afternoon. 

Thanks Sug, for treating us so special for the day.

A colorful future

Kit dyed his hair last night for the first time. He's wanted to for a while be we've been wary of the choices he made. He put copper tints in using food coloring. He was ecstatic with the results. Couldn't wait to get to school today. He isn't afraid to stick out like a giant cream puff on baked beans. Where everone else wants to look the same, our Kit is paddling upstream and loving it.

He's got the makings of a great performer. I wonder if he'd like to audition for "The Hobbit" this fall?

What we did on our summer vacation

It appears as though there may not be a summer program that we can enroll the kids in this year. The funding got dropped and organizers need 50 kids by this Friday or they can't run it. Man, this is serious! Three rambunctious boys home every day, all day for 10 weeks. I'd almost have more cancer treatments. I'll have to contend with the day in/day out onslaught of 'whatdowedonowgrampy', constant bickering, and vying for attention. I did this 2 summers ago and, while it wasn't easy, we survived by spending lots of time at the park and beach, drinking gallons of kool-aid, and eating a million picnic sandwiches. It's amazing how mind numbing looking after kids all day can be. I know, I'm suposed to think it's a challenge and good for the kids and all that, but phooey. Constantly chasing them around finding things for them to do, kicking them out of the house to be bored somewhere else. I remember with my own kids I told them if they gave me the morning to work, I'd spend the afternoon with them. But that was almost 30 years ago. Maybe I'll start a private summer school and put them to work on the books all day. There's always the possibility of having them generate electricity on some sort of bicycle contraption. How about panhandling on Main Street for their allowance. Perhaps one of them could read stories to me all day while the other 2 fan the air. They could cook frozen dinners all week and we'll sell them at the farmers market on Friday afternoons. Hmmmm. Maybe this won't be such a hard summer after all.

To be or not to be

My friend Suzi and I have been having an ongoing discussion since I got sick about the existence and importance of God. She believes that things happen for a purpose. I'm not so convinced. My regular readers might classify me as an atheist. But that's only true in the narrowest sense. I do not deny or reject the existence of God, I just don't believe it myself. I'm willing to concede I may be wrong. Suzi, on the other hand, is a Catholic who is on a personal quest for signs of miracles. She lent me a book to read about finding miracles in everyday life and how that proves there is a presence out there, the presence of God. Unfortunately, for Suz she hasn't felt that presence personally but believes it is there. She asked, when I faced possible death from cancer, if I thought there was an afterlife. I said no. "I take comfort in feeling there is nothing beyond the grave. I can't fathom the idea of eternal life. After all we're just stardust to begin with," I said. She said, "I don't know if I could live another day if I didn't think there was an afterlife. I'd be too paralysed to go on. There has to be miracles and something greater than us. A reason for your suffering through this ordeal." "I agree there are many things greater than us," I said, ever the pragmatist. "I just don't think it has a consciousness that created or directs humankind. And I'm suffering from a tumor." "Doesn't it terrify you to think it could all be over any moment?" I shook my head. "It comforts me to think this is it. This is the one shot I have to make it right, to make it good, and make it count. When it's over, now or later, hopefully I've left my mark. That's my eternity." "What if you die young, get a disease, screw it up...and lose your shot?" "Others will carry on." "I can't accept that," she said. There we sat, across a supper table from each other last night, close enough to touch, but a universe apart. We're close friends and agree on so much, but on this we can't even agree on the terms of the discussion. Suzi is on a search to confirm her faith and I'm at peace without any. But you can hardly discuss faith intelectually, it's not that kind of topic. That's like discussing cloud patterns when you live on a planet with no atmosphere. It requires a leap just to understand the concept. So after all that, this morning in the car Doc asked me if God knew everyone's name. The question was full of possibilities. Do I tell him of my godless universe? Should I push the question down the road? I decided to be totally honest. "I don't know," I said and left it at that. "He keeps them all on a scrap of paper," Kit laughed, understanding my dilemma.