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1.03.2011

As if there wasn't enough going on in our lives...

There is a family change that's been brewing for a couple of months and is now coming to a head. For almost 6 years Tio has been estranged from his natural mother, Marcia. Circumstances, problems, and trouble too deep to go into here caused her to move across the country and for Debbie to legally adopt him. Buddy is his natural father and the plan was for he and Debbie to raise him with their other children. That all fell apart when they fought, separated, reconnected, fought, separated and finally filed for divorce. Meanwhile, Marcia stayed out of sight since he was six and he's wondered about her continuously.

A situation developed in the past month, coupled with her moving back to our state for other reasons, that will reunite them. However, this isn't going to be easy. Tio buries his real feelings in bravado. There are hard feelings, unresolved emotions and a host of other things hanging out there that will take a lot of time to sort out. He has questions that won't be easily answered. Some he won't even know how to ask. A mother and son and two siblings (Tio and his half sister, Liz.) reuniting after a very long time is bound to have some high expectations, many they may be unable to meet. I can only hope that Debbie and her family will understand how important this is and that he will still love them and that the woman he's called mom most of his life is still that.

But Marcia is as much a part of him as Debbie and as time goes by he will be a better person by knowing this part of himself again. He will be better for himself and better for everyone else in his life. At the same time, Marcia and Liz will be finding a part of themselves that was lost and will make them whole.

Tish and Buddy were reluctant to move so fast when this all came about and I've been the strongest advocate. However, I'm relying on the whole family to help make this work. Tio will need all of us to back him up with our love and support.

Whoever thought family life was easy is a fool.