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2.01.2011

It is what it is...

That's Buddy's motto. "It is what it is." As though everything is inevitable, and for him, I think it is. He's not a determinist. Nor is he a fatalist. I think he just doesn't see things coming. His short term coping skills are the only ones he possesses. So when he makes a plan, 3 weeks may be as far out as he can see ahead. So when something unforeseen comes up, he's caught completely by surprise, shrugs his shoulders and says, "It is what it is."
I can't say if he's plagued by bad luck because when you set the wheels in motion for an ill-considered plan, all you can count on is luck to get you through and at that point it's a throw of the dice.
He bought a car. It broke down. His regular mechanic doesn't work on this make. There it sits while he drives the old car that's barely surviving on a wish and a prayer. "It is what it is."
He has deadlines to file for State support funding. He misses it or forgets something on the form and gets denied or pushed back. "It is what it is."
The kids behave badly towards him, demeaning and unfair. Rather than bring them to task, he takes it in the face. "It is what it is."
At some point we all need to take charge of those things in our world that we can control. Lord knows there's s universe of stuff we can't control. But if we don't understand where the line is and how keep our world from collapsing in s seeming random way then we've missed an important step in growth.

There is some truth to the motto. It is what it is...until it isn't.