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5.15.2012

A death sentence reprive

I got results of yesterday's PETscan this afternoon. I am lymphoma free! I still have 2 more chemo treatments to go through to make sure the beast has been killed but I can move on with my life.

It is so strange to have your future taken away. But that's what it feels like when a doctor says the words "stage 3 cancer". It takes more than your breath away. It carved out a piece of my heart and shook my soul. It took a long time just to accept the possibility of dying even while I fought hard against it.

And just as suddenly my future has been retored. A second word from the doctor and *poof* I'm free - like a condemned prisoner with a pardon from the Gov. I must admit, I wasn't prepared for this, either. I had bolstered myself to hear words like 'complications’, 'increase dosage' - worst of all - ‘sorry'.

I don't think the true impact of what that means has hit me yet. I'm still looking at my prison release form like it might not be real. I'm free. Free to make plans, free to choose, free to see the grandchildren grow up.

I won't mind the last 2 infusions. It's time to start living again with a whole new view of the world.