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5.30.2012

Good cop / Disappointed cop

Following up on last night's post, it seems we have a situation brewing. Poor Tio has found himself grounded for a long time because, for all the dealmaking, lectures, compromises and do-overs, he still refuses to be a contributing part of the family. For 2 years we've tried to teach him that you do what is asked and live with the rules, and you earn privileges. It seemed all along that he just didn't get it and kept screwing up. But this week we learned better. He just doesn't care. He's been lying and ignoring everything all along figuring as long as he played along in the short term and put up with the odd inconvenience, he'd get his way.

It hasn't quite worked out that way and it finally caught up with him: he got grounded for the entire summer. Now he's scrambling to get untangled from the mess. He needs to grow up enough to stop lying and accept some responsibility for his own behavior.

Unfortunately for him, I've had enough. So have Buddy and Tish. We don't believe anything he has to say. He's been stripped of all his privileges and can't go anywhere without adult supervision. That means bye-bye to a summer of hanging out with his friends - which has him completely pissed off.

Eventually, there has to be a way to work this out with him. The question is what will it be and how long will it take? Tish is playing 'good cop' and has intimated to him that she's willing to listen to him. Not me. I've had enough of being lied to and I don't care if he loses a summer over it. That makes me the natural 'bad cop'.

This is going to be a tough one. He's been playing this game for many years, long before he moved in here. Changing this behavior is going to require a lot of work - none of which he has any interest in doing. 

Unless he does, it may be a very long and lonely summer for the kid, and a pain in the neck for this 'here-we-go-again-can-I-just-get-a-break-once bad cop'.