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11.23.2010

Who’s Really Wearing the Size 42 Shoes and Shiny Red Nose?

Kit came home from visiting his mother and said she wants me to post on the blog that she thinks I’m a bozo. There you go, Debbie. Enjoy.

She got him quite riled up telling him all sorts of lies about this blog while refusing to let him read it. He came home in a huff thinking I’d been making stuff up about her side of his family. I guess she doesn’t know I don’t keep secrets from Kit. He and I read the blog together at the end of every week. We hadn’t got to it before their visit this time, a problem I’ll remedy before he goes again. After we read through it, he was very confused. He couldn’t understand why his mom would lie to him. It was a betrayal of his trust and I was sorry to shatter it. She gave me no choice. I couldn’t have him frightened and angry about something that was completely false. This is the second time he’s come back from her needlessly wound up about this blog. We read it aloud then, too, and he agreed that there isn’t anything untrue or even exaggerated in what I write. He likes it. He had to conclude that his mom made stuff up and it gave him bad dreams.

I wish she wouldn’t use the children as bullets to fire at people she doesn’t like. I don’t care if she dislikes me. But that’s no reason to take it out on her son. Her problems aren’t his fault. Quite the reverse. She told the poor kid that she would use the blog in family court as some sort of evidence against us. Evidence of what I can’t imagine, which makes it laughable to an adult but frightened him because he’s 9 and it’s over his head.

I can understand her being angry that the kids were taken away from her but I agree totally with why Child Services did it. It was long past due. I had nothing to do with the troubles she’s brought upon herself and these children, and yet we’ve sacrificed everything to help them start a better life. Our retirement funds, our house, any chance of a peaceful lifestyle, and the next how ever many years it takes are now given over to them. Meanwhile, she took a job out of state and won’t tell Buddy or the boys where it is so she can avoid paying child support.

It’s time for us all to pitch in and make life better for the boys. That’s what families should do for each other - on both sides. If believing that makes me a clown, so be it.