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3.12.2011

So far, so good

It's late. A fairly unremarkable day at the end of an unremarkable week. Kit earned back an outdoor recess period at school for being more in control of his behavior all week, Tio went to a dance and had a good time making noise and jumping around with his friends, and Doc read his 3rd complete book and was ecstatic about it throughout the whole experience. No one fought, felt they were treated unfairly, or demeaned the others. Nothing profound. At the same time, it's progress and that in itself can be profound.

In the past couple of months I've seen Kit working the hardest at changing. Some of it is conscious effort and some comes of more security, confidence and enjoying the benefits of positive rather than negative attention. He's not screaming at his Dad like he has done, accepts things that don't go his way more easily, and cooperates without making a "federal case" out of it. We assumed Tio would adapt more easily to the new universe and realize the benefit of cooperation early on. Why? Because he's older and a bit more mature, and secondly because he's more clear thinking. What we didn't count seriously enough is his stubbornness, quick temper, and that he's had longer to become entrenched. It has taken him forever, and by that I mean repeating the same thing over and over without learning, to understand the old methods aren't getting him what he wants. Kit being more visceral in his approach just did what worked until it has stopped working and I think is in the process of trying something new to see if that gets his desired result.

Now spring is on the way. Warm weather brings a whole new world of feelings, needs and tempers to the family dynamic. We're much more ready to face this spring than we were last year. Every one of us has worked hard to get here. Grinding through it day by day feels unremarkable but in the face of how far we've come it's a miracle.