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7.10.2011

Training a 33 year old to be on time

Here I am at McGreasy's again with the kids running around. Tio isn't here and the younger 2 are a better age for the play area. We went to a flute and piano recital this afternoon where the flutist was playing a flute I made, in fact The Wind Horse Lunn flute that I blogged about last month. I haven't heard one of my own instruments in concert in 10 years so it was a real pleasure. There are a couple of local people who play my flutes but mostly they are spread far and wide around the world. So I stuffed the kids into clean shirts and everyone behaved well through the whole thing, even Doc. (Although he did try to plug his ears at one point.) Which is why I'm at McPlaypen's: a reward for sitting tbrough a classical recital.

The new challenge this week was starting to train Buddy for a new job.
More and more Tish is finding it harder to deal with the boys living here. It's a lot and she'd like as much of her world back as she can have. For the last year and a half she's been getting the boys off the school (and now summer camp) and their routine is pretty good. It's time that Buddy stepped in and got his own kids up in the morning. I told him he needs to do it for Tish, if for no other reason, because she needs the break.

Some readers may recall a few weeks ago I talked about observing Buddy and how he deals with change in his life (not too well) [In: there's always something to learn about your grown children. Knowing that I need to introduce it slowly, I suggested the idea to him that he get them ready for camp 2 days a week and work up to getting up every day when school starts. That way, both he and the boys have time to get used to it.

On Wednesday, I tossed it to him as gently as a predressed garden salad. I wrote a list of who needed what, got their drinks prepared the night before and set the timing so he'd have penty of leeway to get everyone out the door and to their camps . All went well. Tish brought her morning coffee back to bed to avoid it altogether, the boys cooperated, and Buddy managed to be out the door by ten past.

On Friday, not so much. He got them up later, didn't have a list (although the Wednesday one would have done fine) took over the bathroom for 10 of the only 20 minutes they had and then got cranky because they weren't magically prepared when he was suddenly ready. Tish had to intervene a number of times to keep the peace and get the boys dressed. Tio nearly missed the bus to his field trip and the younger boys missed camp breakfast.

Buddy is chronicly late, it's his passive aggressive signature. I've been dealing with his excuses for being late for 20 years and it isn't going to happen this time. When he got home I chewed him a new one and told him the boys better be on time next week - no excuses. He got defensive and started making excuses but I stuck to it. "You have no excuses. I don't care what it it takes to get out the door on time or early, but figure it out and get it done. You owe this to your mother."

He stormed off and a couple of hours later apologized for screwing it up. Next Wednesday and Friday we'll see if we can do better and create a routine that he can assimilate into his life so that by the time school starts in September it'll be part of normal.