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10.18.2011

Putting more miles on the washer than the car

It seems all I do during the day anymore is wash blankets. There are still 2 boys who wet the bed and believe me, the sheets and flannel pile up faster than snow in a blizzard. What makes it worse is that we line dry so they take up all the space that other laundry needs just to get us through the day. This past week it really got ahead of me. I must have turned my head for a moment and dropped a stitch because when I got to the bottom of the blanket pile I discovered a massive crop of smelly pants, shirts, drawers and who knows what that had been accumulating for an unspecified amount of time. Half of it had been clean before it got spread on the floor under the urine soaked bedclothes. It was like our little laundry area ('little' is being generous) had live carpet growing on it and I was the sorcerer's apprentice trying to bail it out while it kept getting deeper and deeper. What a nightmare.

You say - couldn't you just keep doing loads until it's all done? I wish! But the lines, as cleverly strung as they are, will still only hold two big loads - and that's without any blankets or sheets! Why not go to the laundromat, you ask? Why not indeed! If I had realized how deep in the muck I really was, I would have gone to the bank for a hundred rolls of quarters and filled every tub at the mat. But, fool that I am, self sufficient boob that I imagine myself to be, I smugly thought I was on top of it. "Pif!" says I, "2 load a day and I'll be caught up in no time - spit spot, as the Poppins woman used to say." Well, it took more than a spoonful of sugar to swallow this medicine, I can tell you right now. In fact, spoonful of soapflakes after spoonful of soapflakes and the floor is finally back to battle gray cement and the final load is burbling away.

Now all I have to do is get these boys to wake up at night for a pee, not leave their clean and dirty laundry in the same pile, stop spewing their clothes all over the place like a dog digging a hole when they are looking for something to wear, and to climb up on a stool when taking something off the line so that the clothes pins don't go flying all over the place and get stepped on and broken by the baker's dozen.

Is that all? I'd say the sorcerer had more than one apprentice.