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It's us or them

Tish works in an humane society and animal shelter. The place is full of constant noisy barking and screaming animals, emotions run high among the staff who have to deal with stress every day, people bring in abused and abandoned animals and they regularly have to involve the police and other officials to rescue dogs from unsavory conditions. Yet today she told me that she can handle all of that more easily than the stress of the 3 boys at home.

Not good.

She is bothered by the fact that there doesn’t seem to be room in this world of ours for us and  it’s not healthy for us personally or our marriage. We’re either busy with our work, busy with the kids, constantly picking up after them and then too tired to do anything but watch TV or nap. Just looking after the boys, even when they are playing on their own, wears us down. Because they don’t get along and always demand attention every hour of their waking lives, it constantly saps that little bit of extra and leaves us less for each other.

We’re very close and our relationship can withstand a lot of pressure. But how long can it continue like this? Is there a limit where we crack or do we just endure until it either winds down or leaves us sucked dry?

I want to enjoy my marriage, my partner, my wife. And she me. Even when we do get out for a meal we end up talking about the crap that goes on here, leaving us no escape. We need a getaway. She’s talking about kayaking and camping. I’d settle for live music and the odd play every now and then. Either way, we need to change the parameters of this deal or it will change us.