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2.10.2011

Finding the right road.

Today was much less tense for me. I did loads of laundry, caught up on chores and bills etc. and worked on my novel. Doc went sledding and I made paella for supper. After Buddy got home, I took the older boys skating in 7 degree weather while Tish spent the evening with our daughter.

Some of my tension comes as much from the adults as it does from the kids. Buddy's limitations with the boys can drive me up the wall and it makes the whole house tense when he's "on duty". But Tish is really struggling to make this work for her. This is clearly not the path she chose for herself (nor did I) and she clearly wants her life back. I can dig it and can wish for the same but it isn't going to happen. I've taken a different path by choosing to embrace the family life and make it work for the boys. While we're not at odds with each other over this, she feels that I need more time for myself (which is true), and would prefer that we leave the boys more to their fate with their dad. After all, we've given them a safe home and healthy environment, should we be expected to do more?
I can't argue with that logic. It's a perfectly reasonable path to take as grandparents. After all, we've all had trouble relating to our parents and many of us lead better or rich enough lives because of or despite this. On the other hand, when you see a train wreck barreling down should you help people out of the way or let them find the side of the tracks on their own? I can't say my sibs are better for our parents choices and neither can Tish. I know clear as a summer night that Kit will fall through the cracks without serious guidance. Tio, too.

I know I've chosen a tough path, a Danny Rose path, and I know it's going to cost me. But I see no other way. I just wish that Tisha didn't have such a hard time with it.