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Harvesting disappointment instead of success

Kit turned 11 last Friday. I didn't mark the occassion on the blog before because he didn't celebrate here so all was quiet. However, he had a great time with his mom, grampa and brothers down on Cape Cod, got some nifty gifts and it rounded out his vacation nicely. However, his mom gave him a cell phone that she knew he couldn't keep. 

Buddy and I have told him countless times that he can't have a phone with internet access - which is most cell phones these days except the basic Tracfone. He insisted all he wanted was a phone (even though he has had 2 Tracfones before and all he used them for was taking pictures and recording silly noises) but was imagining himself behind the wheel of a smart phone with touch screen and facebook and all the bells and whistles.

After enjoying it for a day, I said, "You know you can't keep it because it has internet. How many times did we tell you that you can't have internet phone in this house?"
He conceded that it was a lot.
"Did you tell your mother that?"
"Then you only have yourself to blame and I'm sorry for that. We'll send it to her or your aunt and you can use it when you visit them."

It soon became obvious that his mom was aware that he couldn't have that kind of phone. First because Buddy had told her and, second, on the ride home his mom's boyfriend said that if we took the phone away 'they'd have the police charge us with stealing'. (Again with the police. Can't that family resolve anything on their own?)

His mom knew there would be controversy over the phone but they gave it to him anyway. Then the  stakes got raised with the mention of cops being involved and he came home knowing that his nice birthday present was going to cause trouble. Total disappointment. Instead of creating a situation where he gets something nice and everyone approves, he's stuck in the middle of a battle over something he knew he couldn't have in the first place - and so did they.

Happy birthday, kid, let's hope your grampy and dad choke on it. Nice. When are we ever going to be able to settle down and work things out together.