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4.21.2012

Where's the reboot button when you need it?

There seems to be some tension in the air this week.

I'm having trouble getting a bead on Tio's behavior. One minute he's thinking clearly about what he wants and the next he can barely get out of his own way. He wants everything right away and he shoots himself in the foot just when he's on the verge of earning privileges. The negotiating of all this drives me crazy. I'm just looking for him to push for top grades, an easy catch because he's so smart, but it isn't that simple. He's become teenage smug and disrespectful and thinks he should drift by with whatever grades float within reach. 

This week Kit was so insolent at his afterschool program that one of the supervisors said if he crosses the line again, he'll get kicked out. I had to make it clear, yet another time, in no uncertain terms that kind of behavior is unacceptable and life will get uncomfortable if he keeps it up. At the same time, his academics are great and he seems to be doing alright at school.

Then there's Doc. He spent the day at a friend's house and I heard from the mom tonight that he was very nervous, wanting to go home, and swearing a blue streak. Jeez, what's next?

I'll tell you what. All three of them don't get on with each other very well, Tio and Kit being the worse. It gets under my skin that they go at each other with no need or reason. Both have good lives, they are very different and therefore don't have anything to be jealous of the other for, neither cares what the other thinks, and still as soon as they're both in the same room, the tension shoots up like mercury on a hot day.

Add anticipation of a batch of puppies, chemotherapy, and the start of spring vacation for a week and it feels like my world is exploding. I feel I need a break and yet this is when I'm supposedly taking a break. Worse, I feel all of this is my fault. I'm supposed to be the one pulling everyone together but I'm not on my best game right now, I've been losing my temper more than I used to, more than I should, and I see no end in sight. I don't think what I expect of them is unreasonable, but it seems like a hard fish to land all the same.

I know, I know, welcome to parenting.