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7.08.2012

Making irreversible decisions


Kit wants to cut bangs in his hair. Right now he has shoulder length hair that he curls and straightens and styles in a number of ways. I’ve told him that once he cuts bangs, he can’t undo it. He understands that and has been hesitating. 

Tonight, when he brought it up again, I laid the issue out clearly for him. “Cutting bangs will make you look a lot more like a girl, regardless of what clothes you wear. It is a girl’s style and there will be no mistaking that you want to look feminine. Personally, I have no problem with it and neither does anyone else in the house. (Tio kept his mouth shut) But the fact is,” I said plainly, “this would be a move that will draw a lot of attention to the fact that you really want to look like a girl, not just look different, and there is no turning back.”

We stared a long moment at each other while he soaked that in. He definitely wants the bangs. He’s not sure about the grief it might bring him from some kids who will tease him - and they will. He doesn’t mind a certain amount of trouble but I’m not sure if he’s ready to go this far.  I suppose he could cut it all short if it doesn’t work out, but I don’t think he wants that.

It will be very interesting to see what he decides because this could be a very transformative moment in his life. Not because hair in itself is that important, but because he would be taking a significant step towards fulfilling his lifelong pursuit of a feminine identity.